What are the toughest coaching jobs in sports?
June 1st, 2009
Coaching in any sport is a tough job. For every lifetime-tenure Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden, there are a thousand here-today-gone-later-today coaches who are only as good as their last game. But some coaches face pressures far beyond just simply winning and losing. For these coaches, they’re not just battling the other team; they’re battling history, their front office and their own fan base. Should you take on one of the following jobs, good luck, friend — you’ll need it:
Dale Earnhardt Jr. crew chief: The most recent change on this list (and its inspiration). While Junior is the face of the #88 team, he somehow managed to elude the lion’s share of criticism for his team’s poor performance, and it settled down on ex-crew chief Tony Eury Jr.’s shoulders. When you’ve got tens of millions of fans comparing your driver to his legendary father and expecting similar results, you’re not long for the pit box if you can’t keep delivering wins.
New York Yankees manager: You’ve got a roster that looks like a fantasy team in a 10-club league. But don’t go celebrating; you’ve got the crushing weight of dozens of world championships behind you, you’ve got a bloodthirsty front office above you, and you’ve got singleminded fans all around you. Win or get the heck out of the Bronx. Simple, right?
Oakland Raiders head coach: Sure, they stink and have for years. But any job where that guy there at right is your boss is one you need to think about long and hard before accepting.
University of Alabama head football coach: Bear Bryant forever looms over ‘Bama, and if you can’t compete, you’ll be wrapped up in a houndstooth carpet and shipped out of town. And even if you do win, you’ll be under Homeland Security-level surveillance wherever you go. Keep smiling, coach, just keep smiling.
University of Kentucky head basketball coach: You will win. You will not just win, you will dominate. You will not stop at NCAA or Final Four berths, you will drive Florida and Louisville into the ground and salt the earth above them. If you cannot do this, you will be removed, and your name shall never again be spoken.
Dillon Panthers head coach: Your quarterback lusts after your daughter. Your fullback is a lush. Your boosters expect twelve wins in a ten-game season. All this, and everywhere you drive around Texas, you hear this dramatic piano music. How’s a guy supposed to coach with all that distraction, huh?
Harlem Globetrotters head coach: Your team isn’t just expected to win every game, they DO win every game. So if they somehow manage to lose, you are a failure not just as a coach, but as a human being. On the plus side, you can draw up plays involving ladders, confetti and even livestock, and nobody will blink.
All right, your turn. What are the toughest coaching jobs in sports? And what would it take to get you to take one of them? (Besides, you know, coaching talent and a ton of money.) Go!
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